You asked. I answered. No filter.
Q: Has a client ever said anything inappropriate in a session?
A: The word “inappropriate” is tricky in my field, because I work explicitly with human sexuality, clients need to share personal, sometimes graphic details. That’s not inappropriate. That’s the work.
What I actually watch for is when something shifts the focus away from the client’s healing, like trying to make the session about my personal life, or expressing violent intent. When that happens, I don’t shame anyone for it. I simply redirect: let’s bring this back to what we’re here for. Clear, calm, no drama. Most of the time, when a client says something that could be called “inappropriate,” they’re actually testing whether this is really the safe space I’ve promised it is. My response is the proof that it is.
Q: Has a client ever asked for sexual favors?
A: Yes. Rarely, but yes, and I think it’s important to say that honestly.
When it happens, I address it immediately, directly, and without cruelty. I make it clear that our relationship is strictly professional, that sexual contact is unethical and illegal, and that if the boundary is challenged again, I’ll refer them to another therapist. My tone stays professional and non-judgmental, I focus on the boundary itself, not the person’s character.
Something like: “I need to stop you here. Our work together is exclusively professional. Sexual contact is strictly against ethics and will not happen.”
I also document it thoroughly every time. That protects both of us.
What I want people to understand is that a client who does this isn’t always acting from bad intent. Sometimes it reflects deep confusion about intimacy and relationships, which is, itself, exactly what they need help with. The referral is the care in that moment.
Q: Do people send lewd messages and texts?
A: Yes, it happens.
My policy is simple: my professional phone and email are for scheduling only — not for explicit content or detailed therapeutic discussion outside of a session. When I receive something that crosses that line, I don’t engage with the content. I send a short, professional reply:
“Thank you for reaching out. Please reserve detailed discussions for our scheduled session time. My phone and text are for scheduling only.”
If it continues, I bring it into the next session and address it directly as part of our work, because when a client sends that kind of content outside of session, it’s usually clinically meaningful. It tells me something important about what’s going on that we haven’t gotten to yet. That’s not a problem to shut down. It’s material to work with.
Q: Do clients ever approach you in public?
A: Yes, and my answer is always the same: I follow their lead, completely.
If a client walks past me and looks away, I look away. If they say hello, I respond warmly and briefly, as though we know each other from some general context. I never mention therapy, my profession, or anything that could expose them to whoever they’re with.
Your confidentiality doesn’t live only inside my office. It follows you out into the world, and so does my responsibility to protect it.
After an encounter like that, I’ll usually bring it up at the start of our next session, not because anything went wrong, but just to check in. Did that feel okay? Do you want to talk about how we handle it if it happens again? That small conversation matters.
Have a question for Ms. Erin? She’d love to hear it.
📞 425-666-9152 📧 [email protected] 🌐 loveandintimacybyerin.com
